Forgiven

Seasonally, daily, hourly we are a backsliding lot. I am grateful that it doesn't end there. This morning, I read judges 10. The specific verses that captured my heart were 15 and 16, "But the Israelites said to the Lord, 'We have sinned. Do with us whatever you think best, but please rescue us now.' Then they got rid of the foreign gods among them and served the Lord. And he (God) could bear Israel's misery no longer." 

The Israelites, as we know, were a collective played out example of the most human follower of God. Up. Down. Here. There. And, in trouble yet again for seeking the hopeless emptiness of gods and the Godless. Well shoot, if it isn't me standing barefoot in my kitchen in 2021 with my hands on the counter, head bowed in grief, stuck in the company of the approval-of-men gods. "Lord, I'm sorry. Rescue me. Let me live out my day as someone dearly loved by you."

Psalm 145:8 says, "The Lord is gracious and full of compassion; slow to anger and great in mercy." Psalm 32:5 says, "Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, 'I will confess my rebellion to the Lord. And, you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.'

When we seek God, we ARE going find Him. When we ask for forgiveness, He forgives. I am struck how often the Israelites came to their senses, acknowledged their sin, cried for forgiveness, pleaded for help, and it was given to them. Again AND again. Is it the fact that God forgave them over and over or the fact that they seemed to never learn their lesson, that is head scratching?  I think probably both. Yet, it is our way, isn't it? And, it's also the way of a truly remarkable Abba Father who does not want to see us entangled in sin and darkness. Why? Is He a rule slammer? An, "I gotcha now" sort of God? Absolutely not. He had sympathy for the plight of the Israelites. He wanted their misery to be over. He wants our misery to be over, too. 

Really, there is no One like Him in all of the universe. Sometimes, I think we walk in such a downtrodden way, shoulders slumped, head down, eyes darting to the left and right, with no sense of the magnitude of how much we are seen, known, and loved. Whether it is the car ride to work, the way in which we get out of bed in the morning, or the drought we've been curled up in for too long, we need to know that God - Maker of heaven and earth - is FOR us. 

This stuff can be insidious. Sometimes, yes, we are drowning because of our own sin and/or the sin of others. But, probably more times than not, it is a crack here and there, a dart thrown that sticks, a lie believed and fed, the wrong company we chose, the anger we sprinkled a little gasoline on, the meaningless, aka dangerous, gods we've tucked under our arms and carried in our back pocket (or cradled against our heart). 

The fear and the lie, is that we might split open and fall apart, or maybe even die, if we go to God with our sin. We can be terrified of giving something up that has felt like a friend. We can be terrified of God's reaction. We can be afraid about having to change. Maybe the roof will shake, tremble, and cave in on us leaving us inoperable. Or, maybe we simply think it's not that big of a deal. Maybe another day I will take this to God. You know what I'm talking about. This is ALL of us. 

But, seriously, that last part of Judges 10:16 "And he (God) could bear Israel's misery no longer" melted something in my heart. These were His people...men, women, and children He had formed in their mothers' wombs. He knew them by name, His thoughts about each one were vast, and the hairs on their heads were numbered. He saw the gods they were in bed with. He saw the meaninglessness of chasing after the wind. He saw their sorrow and their misery. They cried out of the massive heap of pig slop they had created and asked for forgiveness for what they had become. He was waiting for it. He was ready. Who could we ever find in all the world who could offer the kind of love that He offers? How is it that He could even be mindful of us in such a way? We come again and again, for big and small even though it actually all eats us, and there He is offering forgiveness and freedom. What a mighty God.

So, whatever it is and wherever you are, turn upward, reach for Him, and tell Him you're sorry. But, don't stop there. Lean your head against Him and stay as long as you need to. Feel what it's like to be forgiven.

-Dee M. Kostelyk

Wake Up

I have been thinking about a wake up call.

Sometimes, we get used to what is comfortable. Each of us have our own things on our plate, and places and people who occupy our time. We have calendars with all kinds of appointments and plans. We do the tasks we feel like doing and the ones we've put off. We buy the things we want, see the people we (mostly) feel like seeing, give a little to this or that, schedule in deserved liesure, pay our bills, make the bed, walk the dog, hang out with the kids, and at the end of the day eat a few cookies, put our feet up, and watch our favorite show. Yet, many people do not live that way.  They don't have a family get-together this weekend. There is no Easter dinner. There is no grill on the deck. They just think about getting through the day. They don't even own a calendar. While we may get up in the morning and have a hot cup of coffee and think about our day ahead and all that has to get done, others just move numbly through their day. They are isolated and alone. Some live in homes with matching couches. Others don't even have a home. Some have no electricity. Many don't even own a bed. Some stay sick because they have no health insurance and no way to even get to a doctor if they need one because they're isolated and have no transportation. Right now, many are scrimping by with the little bit of food they have. Single moms are stressed beyond capacity, crying out for help for themselves and their children. Widows sit in church alone when they used to have their spouse by their side, holding their hand. Cars break down because there was no money for the oil changes and tune-ups. Tickets are given for expired license plate stickers because money had to go for gas, milk, eggs, and the kids' lunches. Frozen smiles sit in the pews covering broken hearts and guilt for not believing anymore. A teenager clocks in at his job swallowing back tears because his parents were fighting and his girlfriend isn't returning his texts. A woman with a good life can hardly get out of bed because she just started processing her trauma with a therapist. A man sits on the front porch of his dilapidated home, with no family or friends, numb and lonely. Babies have no daddies. Tears are being shed in the shower, in the car, all over the world, and in the neighbor's house.

Something rose up inside of me and I thought, "Lord, where is your church?" How easy it is to tell people that you will pray for them and then go back to a rather self-serving life. Prayers are amazing and powerful. And, so is our time. What are we actually DOING with our hands and feet? With our resources and spiritual gifts? How can we lie safe and comfortable looking the other direction while our neighbor sits in a gutter of despair?

"You're in my thoughts."

"You're in my prayers."

"Brighter days are ahead."

"This too shall pass."

Statements that are a dime a dozen. They vaporize seconds after we utter them.

People aren't PROJECTS. They aren't to be used to make the Christian feel good for a few days. People take time, dedication, commitment, love and grace. If I have to hear again the word "enable" uttered from a bunch of white, middle upper class, Jesus following people who haven't the slightest idea what they're talking about, I will speak up instead of silently boil on the inside. JESUS GRIEVES. We need to be loosening the chains, NOT figuring out how to tie them tighter.

And so I cried this morning because of the pain that is out there, the pain near to me, and the pain inside of myself. It was one of those moments. 

I speak to myself, too. Why are my hands so clean? Lord, open my eyes to see even a fraction of what you see.  I can talk a good talk but where have my literal hands and feet been?

At the end of our life will Jesus set us down and talk to us about all the enabling we did? About how we shouldn't have given five bucks to the bum on the corner because he put it toward a fifth of vodka? Did Jesus preach from the boat about how to bleach our collars and bury our heads in the sand?

How can we give too much or show too much grace? We love to talk about it though, don't we? We like to spend hours on the topic. Read books about it, even. Discuss it in church meetings over coffee like fools. 

Take a small subdivision of 300 middle-class single-family homes. What if each of those homes donated just $30 a month for a year to a given charity or ministry? (Heck, you could empty out the change jar and make that work). You know how much that would be? $108,000! Take those same 300 homes and let's say just one person from each of those homes gave one hour of their time a week to minister to someone. That is 300 hours a week given to brighten numerous lives! Just look at the collective church and think about the incredible good that could be done if EVERYONE stepped up and used their gifts to spread the Gospel. Think about how ALIVE that would make us. Think about how RELEVANT. Think about the IMPACT. Why isn't this happening? What are we doing? We need to be a better witness in this world. Stop talking a good talk and start walking. Wake up. It's up to us!

God loves you with the most lavish love imaginable. Let that love seep in and flow out. We have a world dying (sometimes literally) for that kind of love. 

Dee M. Kostelyk

Matthew 25: 34-40

34-36 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s why:

I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.’

37-40 “Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.’

- Dee M. Kostelyk