What does it feel like to experience obeying Jesus in a particular area of struggle? I believe there is great value in this kind of pondering and sharing with others. It shows how alive and relevant the scriptures are as well as the total glory of God. It gives hope when in the midst of that arduous obedience.
*I must confess that I feel rather glum about the word "obedience." It conjures up unpleasantness that I just laughed about with God. Yet, I continue.*
For today's writing I am going to focus on Luke 6: 27-28, "But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you." Most of us have heard this scripture multiple times. It sounds like a worthwhile practice - very Christian and noble. It makes sense and is doable when we decide to love on the miserable neighbor next door or the rude co-worker a few cubicles down. But, what is the experience of putting these words of Jesus into practice when a person has wounded our soul? When betrayal has rocked our world? When we've been dehumanized? When our heart has been broken into pieces? Did Jesus mean that even then we are to love, do good, bless and pray?
It doesn't sound like the kind of advice we might get from today's psychology or self-help book. It most certainly is not what any social media would promote. In fact, if it wasn't for Jesus teaching these principles, I'm not sure any of that radical love-your-enemy stuff would cross our minds. I'm pretty sure I'd be headed for revenge, myself.
Yet, Jesus Christ, our "wonderful Counselor" (Isaiah 9:6) in His infinite wisdom and grace, not only taught us to love the people who have hurt us, He modeled it for us time and again throughout scripture culminating with His death on the cross where He spoke the words, "Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).
He was the Teacher of all teachers - the One who practiced what He preached like no one else. He was wounded, mocked, abandoned, betrayed, slandered, tortured and murdered. I think it's okay if I take the liberty of saying that Jesus knew what a broken heart felt like. Isaiah in part described Jesus as "a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief." (Isaiah 53:3) He goes on to say in verse 7, "He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth."
In light of these scriptures and many others throughout the Bible depicting the suffering humanity of Jesus, we can trust that when He tells us to do good to someone who hates us, and pray for that one who hurt us, He is in it with us. This means that He is not setting us up for something unattainable. There is no sideline satisfaction at seeing us struggle through this alone. He knows the deeply internal spiritual and emotional work that it takes to show love to an enemy. We can believe David when He tells us that the Lord "rescues those whose spirits are crushed." (Psalm 34:18)
Many atrocities have been committed against mankind. Some have experienced truly horrific injustice and loss at the hands of others. I have had the learning experience as well as the humbling privilege of sitting with women at work who have suffered the unimaginable. I have seen suffering that good friends are going through because of the murder of their son. There really can be no shortage of "enemies." The world is full of them - strangers, loved ones, and even those who are no longer living but continue to hurt us from the grave.
Which brings us to the question, why must we love our enemies? Most don't seem to deserve our love. Some won't even receive it, and others won't even know we are working on it. It feels unfair and more painful than it's worth. I hear that and let's continue.
We have surface hurts and we have soul hurts. God has never been surprised by what we have experienced. He told us we would have troubles (John 16:33). But, I believe He has cried a thousand tears with us.
Jesus knew that people were going to hurt and hate us or He wouldn't have needed to give us any instruction on it. Instead of leaving us to our own devices to handle our inevitable hurt (bad idea), He gave us the kind of instruction He knew would set us free.
Based on what I have studied in scripture about God, my personal firsthand experience of Him, and the downright grief I have experienced from being hurt, there are things that I know to be true.
First, to love those who have abused, hurt and even hated us is impossible without the help of the Holy Spirit. It is far too much for us to carry on our own because being hated is excruciating. It is not our natural instinct to love when we have been hurt. Seek His help.
Lament before the Lord, time and again makes a difference. This allows for safe intimacy with God as we pour our hearts to Him. It inevitably leads to more clarity and peace, as well as authentic praise to the One who has seen and heard us in our grief. Hands down, this has been one of the healthiest aspects of my relationship with Jesus.
Resist the urge to broadcast your hurt to anyone who will listen. This opens the door for the wrong people to get involved and will not bring you peace at the end of the day. Instead, process with a few safe others who love you with wise counsel and a listening ear.
Do not shy away from your anger. You cannot give to the Lord what you don't acknowledge is there. If it is bitterness, resentment, the desire to get even, or anything else, take a deep breath because your struggle is valid.
What is not okay and will only serve to hurt you, is to nurse those emotions, feed them, and stay in them. Do not fan those flames but instead, get on your knees and confess who and what you are wrestling with to God. If you have to do this multiple times a day for weeks, then do it. God will welcome you every single time. What He has for you, will not run out. This is a process.
Being able to love, do good, bless, and pray, for those who have deeply wounded us is more of an internal process than anything else. What happens externally is going to look differently for each person based on the circumstance. Boundaries may need to be put into place. Some may need to walk away or give distance. For others, this process may end in restoration and reengagement. You also have the right to change your mind as circumstances change and the Lord directs.
The Bible speaks of different types of love. Not all of it is going to be the heart kind. Not every enemy is up front and personal. "Enemy" can be defined many ways. But, Jesus made it clear that we must love. For me, it has been intentionally turning the mind to love. A choice, not a feeling. I'm astounded at how many times the feelings followed.
Doing good has personally meant acts of generosity and little gifts. Were these always given joyfully? Not really. But, I could feel deeply in my spirit when the Lord wanted me to give. Honestly, He did give me joy in it many times. But it may not necessarily be a hands-on thing. We can also be generous in what we choose to overlook and let go of.
Blessing has come in the form of how I speak and also how I pray. It is difficult to hate someone you are praying blessings over. It takes practice speaking goodness and life over a person who has hurt us, but our words have influence and power. Try to make them good.
Personally, the prayer is a big one. I have come to realize during the height of my hurt, that if I don't keep praying over this person, I'm going to lose myself. Sometimes, these prayers are full of heart- felt passion and other times numbly uttered strictly out of obedience to God. But, I keep going. I have been deeply convicted by the Holy Spirit that these prayers are imperative. Not easy. But, life or death.
All of this takes lots of practice. We won't do it if we don't believe we need to. Not everyone who reads the words of Jesus feels convicted in this area. But, if we are meditating on scripture in an effort to understand better the heart of God, at some point we are going to get it. At some point The Holy Spirit will tug on our heart with conviction because He doesn't want us to continue in this pain.
It can be that moment when we realize how big chunks of our life are being taken over by resentment or even fury. It can also be that quiet and tender moment when God convicts us that we have been a wounder as well - an enemy, a hater and a curser. That's a painful truth.
Walking around with resentment is going to be felt in our body. Whether we have physical symptoms like insomnia or digestive issues, or emotional struggles like anxiety and depression, resentment is toxic for us.
With certainty, I can share of the miraculous freedom I have gained from listening to Jesus's Luke 6 instructions. This is the part I love sharing the most because it's true and amazing. I have had joy and peace when I humanly shouldn't have had any. I have loved with a great big heart without any effort. I am in awe of what Jesus has done for me.
I have been able to rise above arrows shot my way. I have come out of the furnace without smelling like smoke. I have sat at the table the Lord prepared for me in the presence of my enemies. Bitterness has been replaced by compassion. Judgment, by acceptance. Plotting, by letting go.
I have felt strengthened faith, more hopeful and optimistic, better sleep, less stress, more peace, improved health, more emotionally stable, and closer to Jesus. The Holy Spirit has been at work in the renewing of my mind and the healing of my broken heart.
That is what it has been like to experience the other side of the agony that can accompany the process of loving an enemy. I mean this: there is hope.
This is the kind of stuff we need to be shouting from the mountaintop!
Today, if you are finding yourself the recipient of wrongdoing on any scale, I have compassion for you. I know it hurts. It is okay to grieve and lament in your own way and time. Wrestling with it is healthy and normal. Anger to sadness and back again is an exercise that can eventually get you unstuck. Don't quit mid-race.
Until heaven, there will always be someone or something that wounds, and so these verses are wisdom to tuck around our hearts for all time.
Luke sums up this section by saying in verse 36,"Be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate." Another word we could use would be, "merciful." God is kind even to the ungrateful and wicked. When we do the same, we are showing the world who Jesus Christ is and the world is desperate for that vision. We are also drinking in the freedom that comes from letting go of that which isn't good for us. That's a promise.
You are loved.
Written by,
Dee M. Kostelyk
