The Lord's Company

Sometimes, I lose sight of what a pure pleasure the Lord's company is. Instead, I find myself being self-centered and inward focused. I can't see ahead and get afraid about the future. I wonder how God is going to take care of this or that. The tug of war between letting go and trying to figure, plan, and fix becomes my main game and energy sucker. I am a planner, organizer, helper, and crisis manager at heart. It's effortless. But, what is not effortless is letting it all slide out of my hands at the foot of the cross in surrender and trust in the dark. 

God gently says, WHAT IF YOU JUST STOP? What if you enjoy me? Laugh with me? Breathe with me? Marvel with me? Stop a second and wonder with me? How about some trust?

More and more I am coming to understand that dying to self and all the things that do fade away in the light of Jesus's face, is a sure way to stop the chaos. When is the last time you shared a laugh with Jesus? When is the last time you excitedly showed Him something that you found or learned? 

Our relationship with Him does not always have to be heavy laden with burdens and self-condemnation. We are not under a bunch of laws, oppression, and "have to's." Forget legalism. It is riddled with lies that separate us from the heart of Jesus and His exceptional act of love and sacrifice on the cross. His burden is light and yoke easy. He walks freely with His Father and loves to be with us. 

I don't think the answers are as complicated as we make them. Sometimes, we really do need to stop and enjoy the goodness of the Lord. Something funny. The love of a friend. An unexpected envelope in the mail. The sound of the birds. The smell of fresh coffee. A car that starts in the morning. A bill that is paid. A body ache that is no longer there. Peace when you shouldn't humanly feel any. A sunset. The reflection of the sky inside of a raindrop. A child who comes home. A stranger who smiles at you. The Lord is good! He is taking care of everything concerning you. He is funny and fun. How I love Him with all my heart.

Written by,

Dee M. Kostelyk

4"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires." Psalm 37:4

PEACE

Not long ago, I was at the hospital for a surgery that would fall under the umbrella of the breast cancer I had been in remission from. You know that really weird feeling when you come to after having been put under with anesthesia? As I lied still and could feel the pain, I heard the gentle voice of my nurse asking if I was okay and how I felt. After a while, when I became more alert, I told her how important her job was and how much it meant to me to wake up and hear her voice. I was feeling deeply emotional and swallowing back tears that had nothing to do with the surgery but was probably brought to the surface because of it. 

I was then moved to a different room for recovery. For the sake of what I want to write about, it doesn't matter what the details were, but it's important for you as the reader to understand that something was taking place that should have been heartbreaking for me during an already vulnerable moment as I lied on the hospital bed. I use the words "should have been heartbreaking" because it actually wasn't. 

I felt the divine intervention of the Holy Spirit pouring peace into me. I was still hooked up to who knows what and it felt as if Jesus Himself poured peace into my IV as I lied there. This peace came on quickly and flooded my being. It even went so far as me taking a pass at the pain medication that was brought to me. In that moment, in that cold room, wearing a hospital gown, feeling vulnerable and having clarity about the situation, I felt the peace that only Jesus could give; the kind that passes understanding. 

I stayed thinking about this the last few days and knew that I had to write about it. There have been so many times and I'm sure many more to come, where I have sought peace in the wrong ways and in the wrong places. That sort of "peace" sifts through my fingers like sand but the kind that Jesus gives goes right into the very core of my being and spreads to my limbs. At the hospital, His peace did not numb me out and nor did it necessarily change my situation. I held complete clarity of the pain before me without it's arrow coming near me - in the furnace, but not smelling like smoke. 

John 14:27 says, "Peace, I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." This gift of peace is available for every single one of us. We already behold it. It's just that so often we forget it's there because we are striving for something counterfeit. 

The peace that God has given me time and again feels like He is carrying me even as I am walking. No drug prescribed or otherwise can take the place of Jesus-given peace. It's supernatural wonderment. It's thinking with incredulity 'how am I not in a fetal position on the floor right now?' But, you're not. You're in the heavenly realm with Jesus unperturbed. It's crazy, isn't it? What a good God we serve! In the smoker but there's no smoke! Trust him. He loves within you as He lives. 

Holy Ground

I met a pastor once for coffee who wanted to talk about outreach ministry with me. That's really all I knew, and as I didn't know this pastor either, I prayed that the Holy Spirit would speak for me and guide our meeting. 

One of the things he asked, was how I thought he could develop a missional heart and mindset​ within his congregation. Gulp. (Um, let's see. I felt entirely inadequate as my heart pounded. Now, if only he had asked me how to cook a good roast in the crock pot or fold a load of towels...) When he saw my hesitation, he rephrased the question and asked me how *I* had developed a missional heart and mindset. That was easy and I think I ended up answering both questions. I said, "It was out of my own brokenness and pain. I came to terms with my need for God and others. He was there for me. People were there for me. We have to come to terms with our own brokenness." Seriously, the poor guy. I think it was his turn to gulp. He then told me, "I didn't expect you to say that. Interesting." 

While I certainly can't speak for everyone and wouldn't be so foolish as to think I could, isn't most of our heart for outreach and service born out of our own brokenness? And yet sadly, many sit in the pews in denial of their brokenness and/or in shame of it. That is a another blog right there, but guess what? You're not alone! You want to serve, but you're not feeling it? You want to love better, but you're feeling rough edged instead? Don't know how to start? Look where you are standing, sitting or walking these days. There is your current mission field. Period. It's going to change throughout the day, week, month, year and lifetime but you will always find yourself somewhere. That "somewhere" is your mission field and the people with you are your harvest. 

Feel cold? Think about the areas of deepest sadness in your life or greatest struggle. How did that feel for you? What were you given that made a difference? Or, what did you need or wish you had been given? Be that "given" and go out and satisfy that "need" for another. We love, because He indeed, first loved us.

Too often I have fallen prey to thinking mission must be big and grand. It can be, and it depends also on how God might define those words. Your calling may look completely different than the next person's. Jesus mostly walked and talked; he stood in a boat to teach; he sat and ate. All holy ground.

Hands carry, hold, and express. Eyes exude warmth and understanding. Ears listen. Minds conceive. Legs move us. Shoulders carry burdens. Hearts hold compassion. Posture says, "I'll be in this with you."

Look where you are and be conscious of your holy ground. It may not be where you thought, but it's the place where the Spirit is empowering you to love like Jesus.