PEACE

Not long ago, I was at the hospital for a surgery that would fall under the umbrella of the breast cancer I had been in remission from. You know that really weird feeling when you come to after having been put under with anesthesia? As I lied still and could feel the pain, I heard the gentle voice of my nurse asking if I was okay and how I felt. After a while, when I became more alert, I told her how important her job was and how much it meant to me to wake up and hear her voice. I was feeling deeply emotional and swallowing back tears that had nothing to do with the surgery but was probably brought to the surface because of it. 

I was then moved to a different room for recovery. For the sake of what I want to write about, it doesn't matter what the details were, but it's important for you as the reader to understand that something was taking place that should have been heartbreaking for me during an already vulnerable moment as I lied on the hospital bed. I use the words "should have been heartbreaking" because it actually wasn't. 

I felt the divine intervention of the Holy Spirit pouring peace into me. I was still hooked up to who knows what and it felt as if Jesus Himself poured peace into my IV as I lied there. This peace came on quickly and flooded my being. It even went so far as me taking a pass at the pain medication that was brought to me. In that moment, in that cold room, wearing a hospital gown, feeling vulnerable and having clarity about the situation, I felt the peace that only Jesus could give; the kind that passes understanding. 

I stayed thinking about this the last few days and knew that I had to write about it. There have been so many times and I'm sure many more to come, where I have sought peace in the wrong ways and in the wrong places. That sort of "peace" sifts through my fingers like sand but the kind that Jesus gives goes right into the very core of my being and spreads to my limbs. At the hospital, His peace did not numb me out and nor did it necessarily change my situation. I held complete clarity of the pain before me without it's arrow coming near me - in the furnace, but not smelling like smoke. 

John 14:27 says, "Peace, I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." This gift of peace is available for every single one of us. We already behold it. It's just that so often we forget it's there because we are striving for something counterfeit. 

The peace that God has given me time and again feels like He is carrying me even as I am walking. No drug prescribed or otherwise can take the place of Jesus-given peace. It's supernatural wonderment. It's thinking with incredulity 'how am I not in a fetal position on the floor right now?' But, you're not. You're in the heavenly realm with Jesus unperturbed. It's crazy, isn't it? What a good God we serve! In the smoker but there's no smoke! Trust him. He loves within you as He lives.