A Better Way

I was thinking on my way home from work about how people's lives are complex. In the middle of real success and great strides, are steps backward and seeming failure. We can hold hatred and love at the same time for the same person. We can have empathy and compassion with pieces of bitterness and resentment running through. We can forgive and let go of one offense and harbor another for a lifetime. We can mess up, only to turn the corner and do something pretty special. What works for one person or family, wouldn't for another. What one can accept, another couldn't or wouldn't. 

I bring this up because sometimes it feels like, myself included, we impose our way of walking through a situation onto someone else. Or, our belief must be someone else's. Even more, our experience should match another's. Or, how about my reasoning should make perfect sense to you? These are mistakes and can lead to disappointment, hurt, miscommunication and even burnout. 

Trying to frame another person's complex life with our cut and dry solution is a time waster. Very few things in life are cut and dry, especially people. And, people are not things. 

This might be a good time to refrain from telling someone how we think they should or should not struggle. It might be a good time for self-reflection and to consider our own complexity. 

We can do this at the cross. There is something powerful there. It's the place of greatest truth and most profound love. It is where we offer all the complexities of who we are in safety because God's love is secure. In doing this, we feel Jesus's acceptance. We can dare to lift our chin to meet the warm love in His eyes. 

When we walk away there is renewal. We feel less critical and more gracious. There is a desire to be edifying and root for people instead of the urge to control, doubt, or judge. 

The "yuck" diminishes and that feels good.

Thank you Jesus for always showing us a better way to be.

Dee M. Kostelyk