But, earlier this morning, before I even left the house, I had some special moments with the Lord. Head in hands, I silently cried. I was struck by my own sin. How is that for a downer? What does that have to do with the beach, a playlist, and feeling young and free? Well, I'll get to that.
Some things transpired late in the day yesterday that got me really thinking. What did Jesus do when He walked here on Earth? What was His life about? What mattered to Him? Who did He hang out with? I thought about these things and wondered if my heart has been like His. Has our ministry reflected His walk? What is meaningful to Jesus and is it playing out? I asked the Lord this and got a deep reassurance from Him. It seriously was nothing more and nothing less than a deeply satisfying reassurance in my heart of hearts. I felt still before the Lord.
The reason I was struck by my sin this morning is because I realized that even in the good and right things that we think and do, there is always sin wrapped around it, or at least ready to be added just around the corner. A good way to describe it would be like bringing your neighbor an apple pie because she has been sick. However, as you walk across the street to bring it to her, you hope that your other neighbors are seeing you do it! That is the kind of thing that I'm getting at. I felt reassured that my thinking was on track and from the Lord and without realizing it, I had slipped into suddenly feeling smug, and self righteously indignant! The details of all of it don't really matter. The point I'm making is that even our best efforts are tainted with sin. That could have the potential to sound pretty defeating. But, actually it isn't. There is nothing surprising about it in the least. We are each human and sinful, hence the need for our amazing, gracious, and forgiving Savior, Jesus Christ!
I can't say that this morning's prayer time was some negative and obsessive type of browbeating myself. Quite the contrary. The best way to describe it, was that I felt in a very safe and warm place with the Lord as He convicted me of some bad attitudes that I had. It all fell into place like that Connect Four game. God is not a brow beater. He is not a condemer. He doesn't point the finger. He actually set my thinking straight and I felt a whole lot better!
I had some tiny guilt creeping in about sneaking off to the beach. I had a lot on my plate and different things that needed attending. That being said, I felt I needed to go. I don't think we should ever apologize or feel guilty for spending time alone with the Lord. We need breaks. We need open windows and loud music. We need to walk down the path to the beach and see big, foaming, crashing waves with a blue sky. We need to breathe in fresh air and just say, thank you. "Thank you, Lord!" As soon as I got there, I knew it was meant to be! A major spiritual, physical and emotional refreshment!
God desires more than a simple one-dimensional relationship with us. It should be all encompassing. It should involve all the pieces of us connecting with all the pieces of Him. It is why at one moment you will obtain victory, and in another moment you will be convicted of your sin, and in another moment you will be standing in awe of His creation and tender love for you. It is all of those things and MUCH more. He is a good Father!
I was thinking this morning about how He has been the best Teacher and Counselor for me.
My prayer this morning through writing this, is that you will know how beautifully an intricately you are loved by God. ALL of you. Yes, ALL THE PIECES OF YOU.💗
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