I did not take many photographs today, just a lot of walking off the path which felt good. I was thinking about work yesterday. It was not an easy shift but there was a piece of time that I got to spend with a resident that gave real meaning to my day, and hopefully hers as well. She was crying at one of those gut levels, where the sobs were coming from deep within and so I just sat with her and told her I was with her. After a few minutes of this she sat up. She explained about the relapse of drugs and alcohol, and the quick death of her mother a few months ago. Everything in her posture and eyes spoke of shame and regret. And now, without the things that were able (though not quite) to numb her out, she was left reeling and FEELING. The dam had broken.
I don't think the general population grasps the depth of courage it takes for a person to feel the numbing agents held so closely and for so long, slip through their fingers and have to walk forward without it. It's terrifying. That God would allow me the privilege of sitting bedside this kind of courage blew me away. It was raw, front and center. It reached out to me and for a second I got to feel it. I got to know it.
So, the next time I, or any one of us, want to diminish or look down on the one who may struggle differently than we do, climb out of the pit one foot upon a rock at a time, we ought to look in a mirror. I'm humbled by what God had me see - the bravery and courage of a true warrior who will go unnoticed by most because we just don't get it, BUT SHE WON'T GO UNNOTICED BY JESUS. Go girl, go.
Written by,
Dee M. Kostelyk
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