How easy it is to feel like giving up; mistake obedience for insanity or hope for foolishness - to feel perseverance is in vain, or a desert the sign of failure. The world affirms these lies. Friends and family can affirm these lies. Even the brothers and sisters in Christ know not what they do.
We want results, like yesterday, for the work we put in. All of us do. Our ability to get up after falling is not bad. Our ability to get up after falling 378 times? Not so good.
We can maybe forgive that person seven times but c'mon, seventy times seven? What am I? An idiot? The "world" yells that you are indeed, an idiot - maybe even an idiot with a diagnosis in need of a good therapist. Not true.
It's been 4 years and you have quite literally been praying daily for God to work in a situation and it has only gotten worse. Clearly, you must be pretty stupid. Or, God isn't listening. Or, you're not praying the right way. Or, surely you are being punished for all of your sins. Maybe the situation is even too big for God. Not true.
The project you felt sure the Holy Spirit prompted you to move forward with, crashed and burned. You now have nothing to show your team. No colored graphics or numbers to speak of. Dead on the vine. The conclusion is that you suck as a Ministry leader. Not true.
You've got a few inner demons you have been working your butt off to conquer. Now, those demons are conquering you. Your hands keep sliding downward as you try to crawl out of the pit. You have one mocking spirit to your left spitting shame and weakness in your face. The one on your right is cheering you on with feigned support and acid-filled breath lying that you are fine as you are - a mighty king or queen; invincible. Below you is the "Hey man, just give it up already." All liars.
Who is above you with an extended hand and your name engraved on His palm? Father God.
Holding faith is not easy. It is no doubtedly hard to walk when you can't even see your hand in front of your face. Heck, it can be hard to walk even when we can see!
Discouragement, weariness, abandonment, and worthlessness do not discriminate. Do you know how I really, truly know this? Because, even Jesus Christ experienced it. The Bible says that He is well acquainted with our grief and understands our temptations and weaknesses. He felt betrayed and abandoned, and at times wondered what good He was accomplishing.
So, you see. You are KNOWN and UNDERSTOOD.
I am grateful that Jesus did not give up. He left all of His labor in the hands of His Father. He COMMITTED all that He was and all that He did to God. He walked to victory for us.
Could it be then, that the results are less important than the heart of the laborer and the One to Whom that laborer is committed? There actually is a reward.
So, do not give up. Keep going. The hand of God is held out to you in love. He is trustworthy.
Dee M. Kostelyk
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