Recently, I spent time talking with a young woman who had lost the passion in her life. If I could describe what I felt sitting with her, it was "void." No color. No quickening of the pulse over a rush of anything, really. Monochromatic. Flat. I suppose the only intent I saw was a draw to the bleak. Even the philosopher she quoted was known for his pessimism. And, imagining passion wasn't a possibility. I asked her.
It's my observation that far too many people live without passion. When asked, "what gets you going?" I often get a blank stare or shrugged shoulders. These people aren't necessarily unhappy. There is just a piece of them that seems to be lost. And while I know there are many factors that can contribute to this, I have to believe that God's desire is for us to find passion in our life regardless of our situation or stage of life.
I remember the first time I felt a real tug of the Holy Spirit on my life. I was 17 and sitting in church listening to someone talk about SWIM (summer workshop in missions). I felt a pull on my heart and I couldn't contain the tears. I knew I had to go and I was both afraid and exhilarated at the same time. So, that summer, three other girls and I stayed with a couple families in Rockford, Michigan for five weeks. It might as well have been across the country for how homesick I felt. During the day we led a Daily Vacation Bible School, canvassed the neighborhoods handing out Bible tracts, worked at a local thrift store, went on outings with the church's youth group and I can't remember what else we did but I DO remember one of the men we talked to as we canvassed the neighborhood. We walked up his driveway and talked for a little while. I remember him telling us that he was an atheist and while he was respectful of us, he was firm about his belief. I remember speaking up, shyly, and sharing that even if we put all of the God "stuff" aside, there was still the question of the moon, stars, sun, sky, trees, grass and flowers. He was contemplative. Quiet. We said goodbye but I never forgot about him. That was 31 years ago and I still think about him sometimes.
Our nights were spent literally going from one congregant's house to the next for dinner. It was comical because the mothers of boys in the congregation actually fought over having us for dinner. It got exhausting for me having dinner at someone's house every night. Fancy dinners with big spreads, desserts, good manners, and having to make conversation with strangers was a nightly rock climb for an introvert like myself. One night we ate at a house that had all boys. It was a pretty awkward family. Nobody talked. Not even the parents. They were what I'd describe as staunch, white, Dutch, and VERY Christian Reformed. Yeah, I know some of you know what I'm talking about. It was one of those dinners where all you pretty much heard were the forks clanking against the plates with eyes intent on the mashed potatoes. After dinner the dad read from the Bible and by this time the four of us girls had about had it. All it took was for one of us to let out a small laugh and we could hardly contain ourselves. The more we tried to hold it in through the Bible reading nobody was listening to, the worse it got until we all started to laugh. Not blatantly. But one gasp here, another one there, holding our stomachs, bobbing up and down. As soon as the Bible reading and praying process was complete, we made up an excuse that we needed to go. But, before we could actually walk away from the table, we stood there looking at the cloth chair our friend had been sitting on. There was a big wet pee stain on it from the strenuous effort it had taken her not to laugh! It was the final act at the awkward Dutch Comedy Barn and we hightailed it out of there to the car. I'm sure the mother was muttering, "bedankt voor niks" as she scrubbed the chair with Pinesol and a rag. (Thanks for nothing!)
Needless to say, we weren't invited back and we didn't marry any of those boys.
While the memories of the man I spoke to and the comedy dinner are pretty sharp in my mind, the trip as a whole was one big seed that the Lord planted in my life. There were other seeds as well. Trips as a little girl to go with my dad on the (gigantic) garbage truck in the city. The way my parents cared about people and opened their home to anyone and everyone. The Olive Branch Mission my dad took me to as an adolescent. Even painful situations that had me finding God at a young age and finding Him in an even greater way as I came into adulthood. There was a theme in my life and it was people. I had a heart for the broken. I was a protector. I remember being 11 and thinking that some day I was going to work in an orphanage. At 22 I got my first real job in mental health and at 48 I'm back at it again. I believe I was created in my mother's womb with real purpose and God-given desires.
But, what about you? When you look back on your life through the good and bad, what seeds do you think God laid in your path along the way? I say with confidence that there were some. Even looking at today, what gets you going? What kinds of things matter to you? It doesn't have to look like anyone else. I'm talking about unique, YOU. What do you enjoy? What are you good at? And, I know from experience, some of you are saying, "nothing." So, let's go at it a different way, then. Are you warm? Kind? Helpful? Do you care about others? I bet you are and I bet you do. I'm not even talking about a career or a job, or a title, or some crazy worldly ability. I'm talking about passion that is rooted in Jesus and spurs you into action that honors and glorifies HIM. What stirs your heart? What experience in your life has changed you and how can you use it to make a difference for someone else? What thing did you put on the back burner because life got in the way? Is there a dream there somewhere? Or, a thought like, "I always wanted to do ______."
If you can answer even one of those questions and follow it up with a prayer asking God how you can do this for HIM, you will find passion and more. A love of baking can be used for Him. Working on cars can be used for Him. A painful experience can be used for Him. The key to the passion is doing it with and for Jesus Christ, whatever it is. We serve an exciting, passionate, creative and imaginative God!
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10
"Each one of you should live his life with the gifts the Lord has given him." 1 Corinthians 7:17
"May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed." 2 Chronicles 15:7
And, I LOVE this! It's always great to read a scripture you don't remember reading before. This man (Bezalel) was given the ability to be creative as he worked on the tabernacle of God:
"See, the Lord has called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah; and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, with intelligence, with knowledge, and with all craftsmanship, to devise artistic designs, to work in gold and silver and bronze, in cutting stones for setting, and in carving wood, for work in every skilled craft." Exodus 35:30-33
Please be encouraged in this area. God has something for YOU! Talk with Him about it. No more passion poor. How about passion PLENTY?
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