It Matters

Last week, I was reading one of Ron Ovitt's "Moment In The Word" devotionals entitled, "What's the Use?" As God would have it, that was some of what I was thinking when I woke up that morning. I was tired and irritable and the sun hadn't even come up yet! My mind went down Misery Lane which is the street Martyr lives on. I started thinking about everything I was doing for everyone else - my kids, husband, residents, ministry. It even felt like the dog was looking at me for a piece of the pie. And, I thought, what is the use? What does any of it matter? This falling and getting back up kind of stuff - this "I'm going to trust you Lord no matter what sinkhole I'm in" was starting to feel like a waste of time. Being "good" and doing "right" hadn't been getting me anywhere. I felt alone, taken for granted, and frustrated with God. And, then I felt even more frustrated with myself for being frustrated with God, because he is GOD, after all. There wasn't any of this I could pin on Him, dang it. I was good and miserable in minutes as I sat outside in the pre-dawn beauty that I wasn't seeing. 

I looked up to the sky and silently asked the Lord, does any of it matter? My misery turned to sadness and I let Him in. I let Him minister to my heart. Even as I type this, the tears fall as I remember His goodness; His balm over me that morning. There was one specific piece of ministry I thought about with God and He impressed on me the surest knowledge that He knew all about it. And, I knew that if it all went up in smoke, He would be pleased nonetheless, because it was about Him anyway. It's all about Him. No one and nothing could change that. 

Somewhere in there is when I read the devotional which went on to point out all the blessing that comes from knowing and serving God and the importance of asking for wisdom and mercy as we work out our faith. We have to change perspective. As I reflected on all the benefits I had received from serving and trusting God, my heart grew full. I went further to reflect on the personhood of Christ. My King. My Savior. Serving Him went beyond the benefits. His face showed clearer and like I said earlier, it was about HIM. The One who gave up His life for me. His heart stopped for me and some day I'm going to be welcome into my eternal home with Him and that alone, that right there, is more than I deserve. This hit me with great comfort and encouragement. My energy level rose as I continued to recall all the blessings in my life that had come as a result of serving Him. I was being fed by the Father as I sat on my deck with the birds, wind and pre-dawn awesomeness. 

What we do matters. How hard we are trying matters. The world is always watching us. Our kids are influenced by what they see in us. Friends. Spouses. Neighbors. Friends. Family. Strangers. We are light bearers and it's hard work. And even when when no human has seen, God has. He saw you let someone get in front of you in line at the grocery store. He saw you bite down on the nasty retort that was ready to come out of your mouth. He saw you get up in the middle of the night to care for your child or to check on your sick spouse. He saw how hard you worked today to say "no" to that person, place, or thing that wasn't good for you. He saw your hands fold laundry, cook dinner, or send that encouraging text. He heard us engage others when we really didn't even feel like talking. He LOVES our efforts. He is touched by our praises when we're hurting. He knows all we are holding inside and all we are putting ASIDE in order to make it and move on His behalf. He is IN us and beside us.
"So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." Galatians 6:9 Keep up the good work!

*To read Ron Ovitt's devotional entitled "What's the Use" in it's entirety go to: 
https://devog.wordpress.com/2018/05/16/whats-the-use-5/

To order his devotional book entitled, "Moment in the Word" go to:
https://www.amazon.com/Moment-Word-Daily-Moments-That/dp/1973517922