When It's Unavoidable

Peace. I have had a lot of it in the last few days. Thank you, Jesus! This morning I woke up and had a thought that I wanted to guard that peace with all that I had. 

As I was thinking more about peace and even joy, I thought about the kinds of quotes floating out there that make me cringe such as:

"You'll never find inner peace of mind until you listen to your heart." (What does that even mean?)

"You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy. Somebody who won't complicate your life. Somebody who won't hurt you. (Is that "somebody" even human?)

"Being happy is the greatest form of success." (Really? The greatest form of success? So, if I'm depressed or struggling I must be a loser. Ok. Got it.)

"Psychologists say, once you learn how to be happy you won't tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less." (I'd like to know which Psychologist(s) have said this.)

"We don't realize that somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace." (My supreme self is having a good laugh at this poetic piece of crap.)

Hopefully, I made my point as to why I cringe. These are the kind of collective messages we are bombarded with from all sorts of media and books. They are bought and believed hook, line and sinker. But, we live in the real world and in the real world we will always have people and situations that can threaten our peace and joy. We could always move by ourselves to a cabin in Tristan Da Cunha (Yeah, I looked this up and it's the most remote livable place on Earth) but we would still be hanging out with ourselves. God knows that it doesn't take much to think ourselves straight out of peace and joy without help from anyone else. 

The message that we have to get rid of anyone or anything negative in order to feel good is false. It's impossible. Instead, it's more helpful to learn how to live with negativity that we can't avoid, change or didn't plan on. 

I started by talking about how peaceful I have felt in the last few days and how I wanted to guard that. The Bible is clear about guarding our heart and mind, and peace is a part of that. Philippians 4:7 says, "Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." But, that is a partnership between myself and God. It is actually not dependent on others or my situation. Thank God! Literally. 

Recently, I had a conversation with someone who encouraged me to prepare ahead of time when I knew I would be walking into a difficult situation or interacting with a difficult person. He pointed out that I was (emotionally) running a daily marathon that was depleting me. 

The fact is, we have roles in life that are going to take us through hard stuff we cannot avoid. We have families. Spouses. Kids. Parents. Co-workers. Bosses. Neighbors. Friends. Not all of them are easy. We aren't always easy, either. If it's not people, then it's circumstances like mental and physical health, finances, our work environment, and home life etc. 

It is true that there are certain people and situations we can walk away from or at least avoid. When that is an option and one God has encouraged, we should do that and feel okay about it. When we are especially vulnerable, there may be times when we need to stay away or say, "no." That is also true. 

I'm talking more about the reality of life. Instead of the false message that we should shed anyone and everything who is negative to achieve peace, we need to learn how to hold and guard peace in spite of and in the midst of. We need to be equipped.

Prayer is huge, especially for the one you feel you are coming up against. It is hard, but you can do it. 

Pray for what you are walking into. For example, a friend of mine shared about a family birthday party she had to go where there would be a lot of friction. Sometimes, we have to be there and there isn't a choice. But, we do have a choice in how we prepare and in what spirit we walk through the door. Pray for your family by name. Pray for the home and property. Pray for yourself. And, put on the armor of God. I'm going to quote all of Ephesians 6: 10-17 because I think it's important. "A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God's armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will STILL BE STANDING FIRM. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God." There is great preparation right there. In fact, it's a good way to start your day no matter what because we never know what we will come up against.

When you leave the person or situation, pray again. Ask the Lord to remove anything that isn't of Him. We can feel safe. We can have peace and joy. God has equipped us wonderfully and in that we also have His protection. 

I would rather learn how to do tough things with the help of God than avoid what is actually unavoidable. 

He will always make a way for us. 

Written by,

Dee M. Kostelyk