Familiar with my Ways

I love how God is in the details of our lives. This morning I opened up a piece of mail that reminded me of something important I had to take care of next month. The other day I was ready to pull out and bang my car into the shopping cart I left in the way and God stopped me. The dress I really liked but put back because I couldn't justify it, turned out to be on clearance a couple months later for $12. Last week I couldn't find my debit card even though I could have swore that I had just had it in my hand. I prayed and after looking for a few minutes God prompted me to get out of the car and there it was, on the ground next to the side of my seat. Or, a few weeks ago when God spoke to me to look up, and across the way at eye level the sun was shining on the coolest spider web which I was able to photograph. At the Dutch festival yesterday, two women whom I barely knew, separately, wanted me to know what an encouragement my writing was to them. I have received nudges to speak up, be quiet, reach out, and walk away.  Even going to bed the other night and pulling back the comforter to remember that I had put clean sheets on that morning, was so nice. Even that was Him. I smiled on the inside.

One of my prayers is that I may never blow past this stuff or lose the girlish, unabashed love and faith I have in my Abba Dad. 

And, so it goes. This happens all the time. Little warnings or reminders. Encouragements out of the blue at just the right time. Tiny, thoughtful gifts for no reason other than that I'm His. All of it, actually, because I'm His and He is looking out for me. God has been the greatest Confidant and Friend to me, ever. He has been a Father, a Teacher, and a Counselor. He has made me spontaneously laugh on numerous occasions. He has disciplined and corrected me. He has shown me incredible grace and offered forgiveness I didn't deserve. He has taken my hand on adventures and has gently pushed me forward to do things I never thought I could do. He has protected, defended, and healed me. He even gave His own life for me. 

Jesus Christ has been, and is, the truest love of my life. 

Dee M.Kostelyk

Psalm 18:1

         "I love you, LORD; you are my strength." 

Psalm 139: 1-3

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways."

Receiving: Hard and Valuable

I had a great conversation on the phone with a friend and felt led to write about it. We were talking about the Biblical statement, "It is better to give than to receive" and how being on the receiving end can sometimes plain stink. It can feel shaming, embarrassing and humbling to receive actions or things that we can't provide for ourselves. It's hard when you can't bathe yourself and someone has to do it for you. Or, when you are physically unable to dress yourself or go to the bathroom without assistance. Or how about when you can't pay your bills or afford groceries or your electricity has been shut off? And how about when someone has to drive you places because you lost your ability to drive? Or, when you used to have the strength and know-how to take care of your house and yard and now somebody else has to step in? Or, when the depression has gotten so bad that you're depending on a friend to watch your kids or provide dinner for you? And the man who has to swallow his pride and ask family, church or his boss for help in order to pay medical bills or get current on his mortgage? And maybe you've been through some tough circumstances like the loss of a loved one, an issue with addiction, a marital crisis, a child that is hurting, or scandal that has knocked your feet out from under you.  And in response, people are at your door, sending cards, offering encouragement and you know you've made a few prayer request lists - all beautiful acts of kindness, but SO very humbling. It is HARD to be on the receiving end. But let me say this. There is treasure to be gained when you receive grace, mercy, and love from people. Even though it is hard, when we allow the gifts of others to wash over us, we get to experience Jesus for real. We get to better know the value of the cross and our need for it. We aren't as self-sufficient as we might think and it was never God's plan that we should be!  We can also understand that we are worthy, valuable, significant and able. Something inside of us changes. Courage and bravery often come alongside humility.  Suddenly, our rougher edges can become softer. Judgements and criticisms fall by the wayside. Pride, and let me call it what it is - sin, begins to diminish. Why does God hate pride? Because it only serves to hurt us and others and He doesn't like His people hurt or stuck. He likes His children receiving and thinking, "THIS feels good." 

If you haven't been the best at being a receiver, start today. Think about Jesus. Imagine Him smiling at you. See His pleasure in you and understand it is complete, no matter what you are in need of. He loves to give you good things! And when you are the one giving, just plain GIVE. Trust me when I say that receiving from someone who feels sorry for you, holds judgement, or does it so they can feel better about themselves, HURTS. Nobody ever wants to be in need. NOBODY! But, not a single person goes through this life without having needs. It's part of what makes us human. 

I love the early church model the best. Each gave what they had to give. No leveling. Equal need. Equal provision. Beautiful! Both giving AND receiving are integral to the family of God and of great value in our growth process as followers of Jesus.

Dee M. Kostelyk

When Quiet is Good

Being somewhat introverted while also an external processor has at times driven me up the wall. I like peace and quiet. I like solitude. I don't mind being by myself. Many times, I have no desire to talk and have nothing to say, either. Yet, sometimes I have this incessant need to process and tell someone my story. It doesn't matter if it's the story about what happened in the drive-thru or some profound moment I experienced in my day. I have to speak about it and if that's not an option, then I have a strong urge to at least write about it. Lucky you. Hence, today's blog.

I feel like this is generally more specific to women, (although I do feel men may have their own way) of needing to focus on details, explain ourselves, repeat sentences, fixate on how we feel and ruminate. Often, it's accompanied by one phone call after another to any live human with a set of ears who can occasionally say, "uh-huh" during pauses in our rant. This is not necessarily a criticism. Some of it can be a rather healthy release so that the dog doesn't get kicked (or anyone else) when we get home. Sometimes, we just need to listen to someone's rant or go on one, ourselves. I get that.

I know I use examples from work all the time but my job is a big part of my life and quite the classroom for learning. The question I was thinking about this morning was, "Is it productive?" Countless times I have sat down with residents needing to get something off their chest and sort of "lose it" for a few minutes. Many times after talking through an issue, the resident is more regulated and able to think with better clarity. Sometimes, we even come up with a plan together on how to proceed. All becomes well, they are healed, and I am the mighty healer until ten minutes later when I hear this same resident telling the exact same story to someone else while dropping f-bombs and wildly gesturing with their hands. Repeat that scenario two more times with an added door slam and it's not even lunch time yet.

But, you know what? That used to be me. Maybe not exactly, but a lot the same. I had this (what I thought) deep need to be heard and validated all the time. It was almost a feeling of panic on the inside. A desperation that came from somewhere deep. Actually, it reminds me of a very early memory that I have. I am guessing I was maybe around 3 years old. It was before microwaves, when parents used to heat baby bottles of milk on the stove in boiling water. I had dragged a chair over to the counter so I could reach a box of cereal. I ended up knocking the cereal box over which started on fire after falling on the hot burner. I remember standing at the back door knocking feebly on the glass in an effort to get my dad's attention outside. I still remember feeling completely panic-stricken only made worse because I knew my dad couldn't hear me. I don't remember anything else about that story except what I just shared. (My house did not burn down and I clearly did not die).

It is getting a little bit below the surface to acknowledge my need to be heard and validated. No doubt, that was true. But, I now know if I go even further, the real feeling was one of non-being. The belief was that I didn't deserve to even exist. If I could just talk about the scenario and who did what, and how painful it was, and I could run it into the ground and repeat it over and over, somehow that would've given me a right to exist. Sadly though, it's a bit like chasing after the wind because while being heard and validated goes a long way in healing, there really is more. We know this is true because of the times when we have genuinely been heard and validated but continue to ruminate and repeat the story whether to someone else or in our own head. It does not mean something is wrong with us and nor does it discount our experience. It just means that maybe we have not considered what we are believing in our core.

If you are finding yourself running to people (or this or that) all the time when you are emotionally charged, it is okay to breathe, pause, and think. Delay the urge. Stop and consider what you are actually feeling. When you get to those feelings (and it's helpful to name a few) start thinking about what you are believing about yourself, your life, or even others. Put it in your palms and hold it up to yourself. Look at it. Offer it to God and ask Him what He thinks. 

I believe there is a reason why God instructs us to "be still" (Psalm 46:10) and says, "The Lord will fight for you; you only need to be still." (Exodus 14:14) I think it is because sometimes being quiet and letting go is the most helpful and healing. The urge to run to people all the time for validation, in some ways, is not much different than the urge to grab a drink or wolf down 5 brownies in the break room when no one is looking. 

If you struggle with this, it is hard not to pick up that phone, shoot five texts, talk to your neighbor, or run 50 scenarios in your head on repeat for a few hours. Trust me. I KNOW. But, I also know what has made a difference for me and those are the questions I mentioned above in regard to feelings and beliefs. I would also add again, "Is this going to be productive?"

The truth is that while you may feel lonely, frustrated, and even like you want to crawl out of your skin, you can do this. You can pause. You can distract yourself. You can pray. You can go for a walk. You can write (no kidding). There are a slew of things you can do including offering your lament to God. Take the things you would say to a friend and say them to God, instead. You are going to have to practice this many times for a good while before it starts feeling pretty normal and natural. But, I guarantee that you will have far more peace than you had chasing after the wind and feeling panic-stricken that no one was hearing you. The other benefits to this are that you will cultivate a deep friendship with your Abba Father, find relief and peace, genuine solutions, wisdom, less fatigue and headaches, and more fun and joy. It is a huge win all around. These are the kinds of things that we can hold and keep unlike the wind which blows through our fingers and away. 

People are gifts. God did not intend for us to walk through this life alone. However, people are not magic pills and quiet can be good for us. There needs to be balance and if you feel out of balance in this area, that's okay. No big deal. I have most certainly not arrived anywhere but am doing better than before. Changing in this area is possible and you are worth it. A little bit at a time. God is in it with you and He loves you. 

Dee M. Kostelyk

Comfortable Isn't Helping

I do a lot of thinking when I drive and for the last month, each Sunday morning early, I have gone to the beach to get away, spend time with God, hear the waves, and look for heart-shaped stones. I listen to sermons, worship music, and sometimes blast '80s music while I think and drive. It's weird, but sometimes the louder the music, the better I hear the quiet whisper of God. 

Yesterday, I worked almost 9 hours again without a break. I spent the latter part of my shift sitting with a woman who had been struggling with severe depression for months. She had been hospitalized and readmitted a few times now. We connected a while back when I realized we shared the same faith. Time and again I have sat with her, talked, and prayed. It's always the same. I have seen little to no progress. The gray that radiates from her can be felt. It is a challenge for me not to absorb it and because of that, I admit there are times when I am glad I don't have her particular check-in that shift. I had run out of things to say to her yesterday as she went from sitting up to laying in a fetal position on her side, completely wanting to give up on this life. I'm pretty sure I cried out to the Holy Spirit silently at least five times during those 30 minutes I spent with her; "Lord, you gotta help me, help her." I finally drew on what I knew to be true and that was, "Where two or three followers are gathered in my name, there I will be amongst them." (Matthew 18:20) I asked if I could pray with her and she was silent for a bit until she nodded, yes. I didn't feel that bold or confident and to be honest, I hardly had any energy left, but I interceded anyway because I knew Who was with us.

Some of her story? Growing up, she had been sexually abused by her father and subsequently as an adult had been taken advantage of by two pastors who manipulated and played mind games with her while robbing her financially as well. That nice piece took place over a spread of YEARS. Needless to say, she was also in the midst of a deep crisis of faith and feeling completely unloved by God. Lord, have mercy.

I suppose I had a bit of residue from yesterday's shift still clinging to me this morning as I tiredly got out of bed, feeling like I hadn't slept well, and remembering the fragments of multiple bad dreams. I couldn't wait to get to the beach.

On my drive, a song by Casting Crowns came on the radio called, "Start Right Here." My eyes welled with tears because it felt like an affirmation from God about what I was contemplating writing about, today. I will share the lyrics with you at the end of the blog.

Sitting in our pews, across our neighborhood, next to us at the grocery store, behind us in the school pick up line, speaking to us on the TV and radio, and sharing meals with us, are people limping and traumatized. Victims AND perpetrators. In the "church." You can say, "Dee, I already know that." But, do you really? Do you know that there are women and men out there who love the Lord and are still prostituting themselves to get a little money for drugs or to get the electric turned back on? Heavens, these people can't be followers of Christ! Oh, but they ARE. 

A few years ago I remember sitting in the milieu on one of the adult lodges listening to a woman in her 30s sing Christmas carols while playing the keyboard. She had a beautiful voice and loved the Lord. And, guess what? Only the month prior she had sex with her father, and in a complicated sort of way, WILLINGLY.  She shared that with me desperately one time behind closed doors. She cried and rung her hands and asked me what was wrong with her; mother of 5 kids, married, pretty and seemingly put together; involved in her church, and traumatized. Marriages are crumbling behind the scenes as pornography and even worse horrific sexual behaviors are invading Christian homes like the plague. Men, rotting with decay on the inside, lean over the bathroom sink staring at their reflection in the mirror silently crying, "someone help me." Arguments over how to load the dishwasher or dirty clothes on the floor next to the hamper seem like a dream come true. If only those were the issues.

The church has needles, pills, and bottles strewn all over the place. Not only is pornography, incest, prostitution, and adultery more rampant in the church than we want to believe but so is depression, anxiety, addiction of every sort (including self-pity), gossip, self-righteousness, and looking the other way. 

Well, it's uncomfortable. I get it. I had a pretty decent life so I don't understand this kind of stuff. I get it. I just don't know what to say. I get it. It's easier to work with what we know about. I get it.

But, come on people. Come on followers of Jesus Christ, the church is where it's at. If we don't start talking about the boy who identifies as a girl and the teacher who found welts across her student's back - the student with the prominent Christian businessman dad from her church, then the world will address it with a sloppy incompetence, and much worse, an agenda straight from the pit of hell. (That's extreme, Dee). You bet it is. The enemy doesn't work half-assed.

People are afraid to come forward because they believe their problems are way worse then the easy problems that the church presents and addresses. Frankly, it's not helping. When I get a sense from a resident that faith is a part of their life, I often ask if their church has been supportive. Sometimes, I hear the best stories about the warmest and most loving people. However, sadly, most often they didn't tell anybody at church because they were too ashamed. 

As Christians we need to become more trauma aware and educated. We need conferences that teach us about post-traumatic stress, what that looks like, and how to help. We need to staff more social workers in our churches and expand Christ-rooted mental health and addiction support. Prayer ministries should be blowing the roof off the place. Celebrate Recoveries should be packed. Elders and Deacons should be visiting homes so they can anoint with oil and pray over EVERY kind of sickness (body, mind, and soul). Consistories need to be trained about this stuff and be transparent about some of their own struggles. We need more stories and testimonies FROM THE PULPIT that don't end with a pot of gold and a couple unicorns. We need testimonies of real people currently walking through the real wilderness sharing how our real Jesus is empowering them to do so. We need to teach resilience. From cover to cover, the Bible gives story after story teaching us about how to bounce back when life hits us. Speaking of the Bible, God sure wasn't afraid to share what was really happening; human sacrifice, orgies, murder, self-harm, despair, war, incest, prostitution, demon possession, pride, misogynism, abuse, perversion, hypocrisy, rape, and self-righteousness to name a few. Well shoot, it's 2021! Complacency is not working.

I've never quite understood, "I'm quiet about my faith." I can't think of any scripture that tells us to be quiet about our faith in God. Sure, we all have different personalities, no doubt. We all have different gifting. Some of us are extroverted while others are introverted. Some are on the front lines and some in the back. We all make up the body and God uses each of us uniquely, so that is not what I'm saying. But, it feels like a disservice to Jesus Christ and our neighbor if we're going to be quiet not just about our faith, but also about the many conditions that can affect it. That is not the answer for our own heartbreak or that of others. It IS uncomfortable. I know it is and my response is, "And?" 

How do we have a marriage seminar at the church and talk realistically and honestly about some of the sexual perversions, abuse, and/or addictions going on inside marriages? Suddenly, we get a little anxious. We start fidgeting. It's a little too much. Can't we just talk about communication skills? Uh.... noooo. Cuz, you know why? Some of those couples are going to go home worse because they were made to feel like they were too far gone and not like anyone else. How sad is that? It doesn't have to be that way! Jesus was there! 

God, we need thee. Every hour we need thee.

We can do this together. We can put our heads together and figure it out with the help and power of the Holy Spirit. We do have to get real with ourselves, though. I think it's harder to really see people and hear them, when we don't really see ourselves. One thing I do appreciate about this younger generation is their ability to be honest and reach out for help. However, and I have experienced this truth a hundred times, there are many adults and older adults who are hurting because they never felt safe enough to hold out their hurt and expose it to the family of God and the overwhelming healing and love of Christ. They didn't feel the situation warranted it. They didn't feel it was important enough or bad enough. Trauma. What's trauma? That was normal. Again, Lord have mercy. This is the generation that can be leading and teaching. This is the generation that the younger one can sit at the feet of.

If it is happening to me, then it is important to God and should be important to my family of God. If it is happening to our families, neighbors, friends, schools, churches, and coworkers, then it is important to God and should be important to us. If it is important to God, it needs to be addressed within the church. Period. It is not "us" and "them." It's "we." Quite honestly, it's foolish to believe anything else or walk any other way.

What kind of Jesus do we think we have? Someone who squirms and is uncomfortable with our sin? Someone who would prefer not to know about it? Someone who smiled and waved like the queen of England from afar? His feet were filthy and calloused. His shoulders heavy. His wrists pierced. His blood shed out for the most vile of evil imaginable. In today's language we might say, "That Jesus, yeah, He went around the block." (Maybe a few blocks or just the whole universe). He ate with people. He knew stuff. If anyone didn't have their head in the sand, it was Him. Hallelujah! El Roi, the God who sees! Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals!

The church is where it's at. Not the government and not the slew of incompetent social service agencies who often make us feel about as valuable as a gnat. IT IS THE CHURCH. Praise God, we can do so much with His help! What a humbling privilege. And if you don't believe me, then believe God:

MATTHEW 5: 13-16

“Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. BY OPENING UP TO OTHERS, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven."

Dee M. Kostelyk

Start Right Here

Song by Casting Crowns

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We want our coffee in the lobby
We watch our worship on a screen
We got a Rockstar preacher
Who won't wake us from our dreams
We want out blessings in our pocket
We keep our missions overseas
But for the hurting in our cities
Would we even cross the street?

Huh but we wanna see the heart set free and the tyrants kneel
The walls fall down and our land be healed
But church if we want to see a change in the world out there

It's got to start right here
It's got to start right now
Lord, I'm starting right here
Lord, I'm starting right now

I'm like the brother of the prodigal
Who turned his nose and puffed his chest
He didn't run off like his brother
But his soul was just as dead
What if the church on Sunday
Was still the church on Monday too?
What if we came down from our towers
And walked a mile in someone's shoes?

Hmm 'cause we wanna see the heart set free and the tyrants kneel
The walls fall down and our land be healed
But church if we want to see a change in the world out there

It's got to start right here
It's got to start right now
Lord, I'm starting right here
Lord, I'm starting right now

We're the people who are called by His name
If we'll surrender all our pride and turn from our ways
He will hear from Heaven and forgive our sin
He will heal our land but it starts right here
We're the people who are called by His name
If we'll surrender all our pride and turn from our ways
He will hear from Heaven and forgive our sin
He will heal our land

It's got to start right here
It's got to start right now
Lord, I'm starting right here
Lord, I'm starting right now
It's got to start right here
It's got to start right now
Lord, I'm starting right here
Lord, I'm starting right now

Time for a New Recliner?

While personal growth and breakthrough can be dramatic and quick, most of the time it is a process and a long time in the making. It is little by little and day by day making it difficult at times to sense whether progress has even been made. But, sure and steady is good. Sure and steady until our last breath.

This morning, I was feeling good. Really good. Yesterday, I had a fruitful counseling session where it felt good to be told that the progress I was making was obvious. Last night I had a last-minute visit from family I had not seen in way too long and it did my soul good. This morning, I stepped on the scale and was down 9 lbs from where I started a couple months ago. Later, I used my voice to speak on a matter that meant something to me. That felt good as well. Writers aren't supposed to overuse words but you know what? "Good" feels good! In mental health we often challenge "good" and encourage further reflection about what that means. However, this morning, I'm liking "good!" It's plenty good enough! Alright. ALRIGHT.

You know something, though? It felt a little weird. A little unsettling. Maybe I was feeling a little too confident. A little cocky, perhaps? Surely, there must be some sin mixed into this good feeling. Surely, something was going to knock me off my high horse any minute. Maybe the scale was broken, maybe I was in denial about my grief, maybe I'm supposed to be more humble, and maybe I'm not that valuable. Ah. Maybe that was all a little more familiar and cozy. And, miserable. It sounds like this may have taken a few hours but it was actually more like a few seconds. I was walking into the kitchen to heat up my coffee with my shoulders back and my head high and I was like, whoaaa, what's this good that I'm feeling? Is this allowed? 

Isn't it something how we strive to improve the quality of our life and do a ton of internal work, only to put the brakes on and skid to a stop when we start feeling a breakthrough? Yet, it is common. It is a sort of crossroads where we can choose to move within victory which may take a little bravery or walk right back to Misery Lane and our well-worn ugly recliner. What are we going to do? I had to give myself a 30-second pep talk while my coffee heated in the microwave and I felt better. Still weird. But, good. A good weird.

Later, I read some more in 1 Kings which is what I had been studying, lately. I was in chapter 19 where Elijah went to Mount Horeb and stayed in a cave. I never really noticed it before but God asked him twice "What are you doing here, Elijah?" There is something about someone using your name and in this instance it's almost like God was demanding Elijah's attention. God asked him this question before he presented in the powerful wind, the earthquake, the fire, and the gentle whisper, and again afterward. Both times Elijah answered exactly the same, word for word. You may remember but prior to this, Elijah was feeling pretty burned out, defeated and sort of like, "what's-the-use-anyway." He had arrived at a place that I could relate to. It was understandable considering the time, heart, and energy he had put into carrying out God's ministry. Of course, God was still providing for him every step of the way, but just like us, he was filled with doubts, fatigue, and confusion. I had to read this a couple times and imagine myself as Elijah standing near the mouth of the cave seeing these powerful representations of God before me. I felt like maybe I would have been hoping for comfort, a little lifeline, a little "I'm proud of you and the work you've done." First, was the all-powerful Lion in nature as a reminder of Who was on the throne followed by not just a whisper, but the Bible called it a "gentle whisper." Man, what a moment as Elijah pulled the cloak over his face and went out to the voice of his God. Something both tender and powerful must have transpired in those moments; something that healed the pain Elijah was experiencing which brought him back into himself with shoulders squared and chin up. God gave him new instructions and in it allowed him to know that there were many left in Israel who loved the Lord as he did. He really was not alone in that sense. His God in Heaven had never left him, either. God said, "go" so Elijah went, knowing who he was and Who he belonged to.

I loved the reading. I loved the truth of what the Spirit conveyed to me. Go, girl, go. This is the right condition for the woman who follows Jesus. I want to get more used to THIS kind of quality. Bring on the new because it'll help me with the old. There is often one foot in both places and that's okay.  I do have to say though, that the old and ugly recliner is starting to look less and less appealing. Praise God for that. It might be time for a better resting place!

Dee M. Kostelyk

Restoration at the Sink

She was young enough to be my daughter, arms full of self-harm scars hidden under a blanket wrapped around her fragile shoulders. I was busy though, as usual. But, God placed her in the back of my mind as someone I needed to pay attention to. I didn't like the influences around her and the blanket was bothering me. This is how it goes at work many shifts. You see and notice a lot. You absorb stuff. You make mental notes and you pray for an opportunity to get back to who you just can't shake.  

I will call her Maddie. As soon as the opportunity arose, I asked if I could talk to her privately in a group room. After we sat down on the couch I asked if she would remove the blanket for me and show me her arms. On top of the at least 50 scars up and down each arm, Maddie had taken a black marker and written words like: "I deserve to die. Ugly. Vermin. Fat. Death. Disgusting (and so forth)." I can no longer remember the details of our conversation but it became obvious to me from things she shared, that faith in God had been at least a small part of her life.  We talked about what she was feeling and thinking, including suicidal ideation and self-harm urges. At one point I asked if I could pray for her and through tears she said that I could. She cried through the whole prayer. When we were done I asked if she wanted to wash the words off of her arms and she nodded, yes. 

Standing next to her while she removed the proclamating lies from her arms with dish soap in the kitchen sink, was probably one of the more profound experiences I had in 6 years. It only lasted a couple minutes but I soaked it in as the cleansing of the vile words revealed the true character of Jesus Christ and His love for her, for me, for all of us. Talk about symbolism. Wow. She didn't even have to scrub. She ran the water and soap gently over her slim arms and the words disappeared with ease. I asked her how it felt, and she quietly said, "good." 

Jesus never browbeats. He's not rough or belittling. I have come to experience and know that He holds us dear. He says, "Here, let me take that burden from you. Let me put salve on your broken heart. Let me clasp my hands around the core of you and infuse you with the light of me." The wars, the arrows, and the legs knocked out from underneath, happen. Welcome to "in this world you will have troubles."  But, it doesn't make our Savior any less. Our pain does not send Jesus to a distant planet and nor does it make our small box His home. Whether we see or not - whether we understand or not - whether we are in an easy season or a hard one - our Redeemer is at the kitchen sink with us.

Hear this. Even if you haven't made it to the sink because you can't get off the floor, He is with you. You are not too much for God. You are just enough. YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO HIM.

JEREMIAH 31: 1-6

In that day,” says the Lord, “I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they will be my people. This is what the Lord says:

"Those who survive the coming destruction will find blessings even in the barren land, for I will give rest to the people of Israel.”

Long ago the Lord said to Israel:

"I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.

I will rebuild you, my virgin Israel.

You will again be happy and dance merrily with your tambourines. Again you will plant your vineyards on the mountains of Samaria and eat from your own gardens there.

The day will come when watchmen will shout from the hill country of Ephraim, 'Come, let us go up to Jerusalem to worship the Lord our God.’”

HALLELUJAH!