I had a great conversation on the phone with a friend and felt led to write about it. We were talking about the Biblical statement, "It is better to give than to receive" and how being on the receiving end can sometimes plain stink. It can feel shaming, embarrassing and humbling to receive actions or things that we can't provide for ourselves. It's hard when you can't bathe yourself and someone has to do it for you. Or, when you are physically unable to dress yourself or go to the bathroom without assistance. Or how about when you can't pay your bills or afford groceries or your electricity has been shut off? And how about when someone has to drive you places because you lost your ability to drive? Or, when you used to have the strength and know-how to take care of your house and yard and now somebody else has to step in? Or, when the depression has gotten so bad that you're depending on a friend to watch your kids or provide dinner for you? And the man who has to swallow his pride and ask family, church or his boss for help in order to pay medical bills or get current on his mortgage? And maybe you've been through some tough circumstances like the loss of a loved one, an issue with addiction, a marital crisis, a child that is hurting, or scandal that has knocked your feet out from under you. And in response, people are at your door, sending cards, offering encouragement and you know you've made a few prayer request lists - all beautiful acts of kindness, but SO very humbling. It is HARD to be on the receiving end. But let me say this. There is treasure to be gained when you receive grace, mercy, and love from people. Even though it is hard, when we allow the gifts of others to wash over us, we get to experience Jesus for real. We get to better know the value of the cross and our need for it. We aren't as self-sufficient as we might think and it was never God's plan that we should be! We can also understand that we are worthy, valuable, significant and able. Something inside of us changes. Courage and bravery often come alongside humility. Suddenly, our rougher edges can become softer. Judgements and criticisms fall by the wayside. Pride, and let me call it what it is - sin, begins to diminish. Why does God hate pride? Because it only serves to hurt us and others and He doesn't like His people hurt or stuck. He likes His children receiving and thinking, "THIS feels good."
If you haven't been the best at being a receiver, start today. Think about Jesus. Imagine Him smiling at you. See His pleasure in you and understand it is complete, no matter what you are in need of. He loves to give you good things! And when you are the one giving, just plain GIVE. Trust me when I say that receiving from someone who feels sorry for you, holds judgement, or does it so they can feel better about themselves, HURTS. Nobody ever wants to be in need. NOBODY! But, not a single person goes through this life without having needs. It's part of what makes us human.
I love the early church model the best. Each gave what they had to give. No leveling. Equal need. Equal provision. Beautiful! Both giving AND receiving are integral to the family of God and of great value in our growth process as followers of Jesus.
Dee M. Kostelyk
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